How to deal with nerves when speaking in front of an audience

I see many people who struggle with nerves when they need to get up in front of people and speak to them. This can vary from work situations, where you need to give an important business presentation to Best Man speeches at weddings where either the best man, groom or father of the bride may be shaking with nerves during something that should really be great fun and a pleasure.

As a radio presenter with thousands of hours of live shows for the BBC, a trained actor and a man who even used to be a stand up comedian I like to think that alongside my hypnotherapy I really can help people with fears like these from the point of view of someone who was in the same boat.

It may seem that I don’t suffer any of the worries that many people do but I was just like anyone else at first. I just found ways to make things easier and by doing this I also really enjoy being in front of an audience. It’s important not to underestimate that fact that speaking to people should be fun and not be a chore.

Many people may tell you how to beat those nerves, but how many can talk about it from a personal point of view?  I hope these tips help show you that it can be a pleasure and not a chore.

•   Take a deep breath and relax.  I know that sounds simple, and maybe obvious to you, but that physical action of taking a deeper breath, holding it for a moment and then letting it go a few times really does calm you down. I have spoken in front of small and large numbers of people and I still make sure this is something that I do every time. It also really helps me to focus. It just takes me away from any stressful thoughts and calms me down both physically and mentally

•      Talk about something that you know. This sounds obvious, but it’s really something worth thinking about. You need to feel comfortable with what you are saying and knowing your subject is going to help you immensely. If you are in a work situation then you are most likely doing it because you are the best person. In your social life, it’s most likely the same!

•      Make some cue cards. You don’t want to be reading from a piece of paper as that would just be boring. So, jot down some key words that help you to know where you are. There is nothing worse than listening to someone just read from a piece of paper. Unless you are Patrick Stewart, it’s going to be a little boring. If you know your subject then a few words to help you along will be all that you need. Those cards will always be there if you need them and you may not even use them at all. They can be invaluable as something to help boost that confidence.

•       Don’t worry about what the audience think about you. Put yourself in their shoes. They want to be informed and entertained by you, they are willing you to succeed. They are on your side. So, don’t be afraid to pause and take a breath any time that you need to. It’s important to know that they most likely want to hear what you have to say, they are waiting on you, and you are in charge.

•     Remember it’s not school. At school we were picked on at the last minute asked questions we maybe didn’t know the answer to and perhaps even made to look foolish. That was a long time ago and now YOU are in charge of things, so it’s all down to your preparation. If you know your subject you can’t go wrong.

•     ENJOY IT!  If you enjoy it then the chances are that your audience will too. And the more you enjoy it the more that you will find you wish to do it even more.

 Of course there are lots of other ideas and exercises that you can do. This is just the start and if you remember one thing, remembers that the people who are listening want you to do well as much as you do. They are on your side and, unless you are in a bear pit late night comedy show at Edinburgh....they really want you to do well.

If you would like some more one to one help with presentation nerves or a speech that you have to give then you can contact me on [email protected] or call me on 07980 233160

Whether it’s a best man speech at a wedding or a talk to clients for your business, I can help.

The Speakmans show live - Review of the How to be Happy Tour.

When the celebrity therapists Nik Speakman and his wife Eva Speakman, best known for appearing on the ITV show This Morning announced that they would be hosting a live tour of a show they called "How to be Happy" it meant that they had a chance to show what they do when they are on the TV. Whenever they appear on This Morning, one of the problems is that they do not like to show the methods that they use to get the results that they appear to get. Many people who have suffered for many years seem to have miraculous changes and let go of all their problems in an hour. There is often critcism about them from therapists explaining that they give an unrealistic expectation of how long change can take. 

The How to be Happy Tour means that the Speakmans can try their methods live with people both in the audience and with people brought up on stage with them

Reviewing the show would be hard for me to do objectively as a fully trained and qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist, knowing that Nik and Eva are not trained or members of any professional body, so the best way to share with you a review of the Speakmans show is to get someone else to review it for me.

This is a guest review by one member of the audience for the show at tha Birmingham Symphony Hall on Thursday 21st April 2016, They are also having shows at Bridgewater Hall in Manchester, King George's Hall Blackburn, Royal Concert Hall in Nottingham and G live in Guildford.

If you attended any of the speakmans live shows and would like to comment or write a review then please feel free to use the comment box below.

What happened at the Speakmans How to Be Happy Show in Birmingham?

Jennifer's Review of How to be Happy Tour by the Speakmans

Symphony Hall Birmingham 21st April 2016

My name is Jennifer and I am a mum of two preschool age children, married to a lovely supportive husband and also the one who walks our shitzu Maisie. I have watched Nik and Eva Speakman on This Morning many times and I am always very jealous of seeing what they are able to do with people just while the show is on. I have always felt a bit wary of going and seeing someone myself and I don't think that talking all about my own phobia is something that I would want to do on TV in front of many people watching. I would just imagine their eyes on me and I think it would give me lots more pressure.

My own life should be really happy, but to be honest I do sometimes feel down and so when I saw that tour was going to be called "How to be Happy" it seemed like a really good chance for me to go along. I had read that people would be able to go on stage but I wasn't sure that would be for me. My hope was that I would be able to get lots from just watching the show. Being a mum with a tired husband it was hard for me to be able to go out and see something that started at 8.00pm. I am not sure what the reason for this was. I certainly wasn't the only one wondering what that was all about. It's tough to get out in the week, but I really wanted to go and I persuaded a friend to come along with me, although she said that she thought that the Speakmans were just trying to get some more cash for their big house they show off on telly. That did make me laugh and I really appreciated that she offered to come along with me. I know I wouldn't have been able to go along on my own. 

As well as worrying about stuff on a daily basis I also have a horrid fear of spiders. They don't have to be bad ones but my phobia is something that I don't want to pass on to my kids, so if I could get some help to cure my phobia then I would be very happy indeed. As the day of the show arrived I started to get a little nervous about what might happen and I even questioned whether I would be able to attend or not. I think that I feel that if I actually go then what might happen? I don't really know what the Speakmans do to cure people of their problems, as we don't see that with Phil and Holly so I have started to get some anxiety about whether I can make it to the event. 

We arrived in plenty of time because I was a little worried about being late and there were lots and lots of other people who looked like they were very eager to see what would happen as well. The show was due to start at 8.00pm and you could tell that everyone was getting excited about it. I'm not sure why but in the end it was nearly twenty minutes late starting and I have to admit that this did start to make me feel a little nervous.

When Nik and Eva came out it was lovely to see them in person and finally get started. The told us all that we have things called schema and these are the things that cause us problems and that by changing these we can change the way that we would feel. There was a big screen and we could see some clips of things that they had done. One of the things they did was get a girl called lousia out on stage to cure her phobia of spiders. Nik Speakman started off by showing her a spider in some glass and she didn't like it. They also hooked her up to a heart rate monitor so they could show us how fast her heart was beating. After a while they talked about how she was scared of spiders but each spider eats 2000 flies so would she rather have 2000 flies on her or a spider. They then brought out a real tarantula which she was able to hold which was fab.

After this we were having a break and they told us they would tell us what they did when they came back after the interval. I talked to a lovely lady during the interval who asked me how I was finding it. I said that it was lovely to see someone with a spider but I wasn't sure if I was cured of them myself. lol. In the second half they bought on a big mirror and got a lady out of the audience who felt a bit sorry for herself to talk about boosting her confidence. It reminded me a bit of Gok Wan. She was a bit upset and crying so to be honest I did go ourside for a bit as I felt uncomfortable watching her when they were getting her to say lots of sad things about herself. I should probably have stayed to get the benefit but I just didn;t like it.

They also showed us some film of Vicky Pattison talking about how much she got from working with the Speakmans. That was so sweet and she seems lovely. I just wish that I could afford to go and see them myself, because I can't realy afford it, and I wouldn't want to go on the television with This Morning.

They also brought on an army veteran who they cured of PTSD which was so amazing to see.

I think that the best thing I took from the night was that you can change bad things that you think. I am just not sure that all that has happened yet. I think that actually I need to get some help as it is too hard to do alone, and I now know that it is ok to ask for help.

• Comments and further reviews from the audience: 
• • Donna  
  • I went to the show last night as a friend wanted to go. I didn't know what to expect as I had never heard of them. Bringing that spider onto the stage made me so anxious, I am completely arachnophobic and it was such a bad idea for all the people like me sitting in the audience. It was irresponsible and I would never have paid if I had known what it would entail. I went in feeling happy, and i came out a shaking mess. I left after that, having been through quite enough trauma. Add to that the fact we were kept waiting till 820pm for them to come on stage, they boasted about their home and the size of it, and said that they wake up every day grateful to be alive. It was cringe worthy to watch. The stuff they came out with is nothing new, it's CBT and its been around a long time. Complete con, don't bother going. 

• Julie   
• I went to the show last night and today was looking for the reviews on line when I found this so thought I would have my say. It was disappointing, weak and very long. The show over ran by 45 minutes not finishing until 11am. It didn't get started until 8.15 and there was a long break in the middle from about 9.15-9.40. Frankly they spoke like amateurs (Nick seemingly needing an autocue throughout, Eva trying to inject some personality) and seemed very under-rehearsed, and at times seemed ill at ease and irritated with each other. To be honest they looked very anxious as if they had bitten off more than they could chew. Not a great advert for their brand. The attempts to inject humour were juvenile & embarrassing. Many TV clips used were from This Morning some of which I had already seen. Using Vikki Patterson as a role model and live testimonial for their work when as yet we have not seen the results of her 'dramatic change of lifestyle' seems rather premature and unconvincing. We watched a 'live' demo of a spider phobia, a discussion of a woman afraid of ice (first seen on This Morning), a case study on low self-esteem which was better and a rather feeble attempt at PTSD which was by now so late I was anxious to get on my way home. The Speakmans have clearly cornered a niche and made a name for themselves using the media to court some 'celebrity' clients but inspirational speakers able to command the Symphony Hall they are most definitely not. The whole thing seemed poorly designed and under rehearsed almost as if they thought could take a 5 minute set hosted by Phil and Holly and turn it into a show without much effort by themselves. However they seemingly have a simple formula for curing phobia which if it works then that is a good thing and should be shared but as a show it definitely needs a rethink. 

• I like many note the national advertising campaign " How to be Happy" by the Speakmans promoting their tour.
  
  In a nutshell what a load of bo''@~@cks. If the Speakmans " Were so Happy, they wouldn't be spending so much time touring the country trying to earn a crust.
  
  Yours sincerely
  
  J 
  
  
•   
  judith   
• How to be happy? Charge desperate people lots of money to listen to self serving cranks 
  
  
•   
  Linda 
• As a qualified therapist myseilf it has always amazed me that ITV is prepared to promote unqualified therapists on their programme. And, having watched their programme I am stunned bytheir unethical pracrices and lack of professional boundaries