How can I tell when someone is lying to me?
I always think that this is something that we often know without even having to think about it. If you have children then you will know that they are often very bad at lying, and in fact that “Tells” that they have can lead you to the same conclusions that you may find with someone older.
Even our pets can’t lie, I know that if my dog has done something that he shouldn’t and I ask him he will look away and avert my gaze!
So what signs show that someone is telling lies?
When we lie, we just can’t help giving away subtle signs. All these tiny unconscious clues betray our real thoughts and give away the truth of the tale.
Touching the face
When making up a lie you will often notice that people sometimes cover their mouth or touch their face, maybe in the subconscious guise of scratching their nose or rubbing their chin. They don’t know that they’re doing it but it is believed it be akin to “covering up” their lie.
Watch that Smile
When we smile naturally, as a result of feeling happiness or sensing something that amuses us, our smiles appear quickly and symmetrically.
The muscles instinctively and automatically create that visual response. Just try and take a look for yourself the next time you make someone laugh. You will notice that their smile appears without reservation. However, a false smile is slower and lopsided or crooked, it’s just not natural and you will often be surprised how easily you notice once you know what to look for.
The eyes have it
Where you can consciously control your heart rate, your bladder and indeed your brain, especially with a little practice, the movement of your eyes is one of the few reactions in your body over which you have absolutely no control. You can’t change the way your pupils dilate, for instance, just by thinking about it. You have probably already heard that if you are attracted to someone then your pupils dilate. You can’t change that, it happens without your control.
So, our eyes give us away more than you could ever possibly imagine. When we are nervous our eyes often move rapidly and as we grow more uncomfortable with the lie we are telling, our heart rate increases and as a natural response, our pupils dilate. Sometimes it has even been observed that people’s eyes will often dart towards the exit of a room as subconsciously they want to remove themselves from the lie and thus the environment they’ve found themselves in. Imagine that! Just showing that they want to escape right in front of your own eyes!
How fast are they talking?
Most of our communication is non verbal; it’s via body language, postures and gestures, facial expressions and the like. Even so a really good way to spot a liar is just to listen to what they say.
The volume of their speech and the intonation as well as the content. They often add lots of detail that you wouldn’t expect, almost as if they made it all up just in case you asked! Sometimes that fast talking shows that they are eager to get it all out as soon as possible!. You may even notice that as their mouths dry out then you can hear a difference in the way that they speak.
Of course, some people may be better than others at lying and let’s hope you don’t need to use any of these tips at all anyway.